When you’re trying to save your marriage

The next time your mother in law comments about how “it’s hard to keep a clean house and work, too...”

Make that coffee Irish and slurp loud enough to drown out the rest of that sentence.

When you talk to stupid people for a living

“No, sir... There are no capital numbers.”

For those friends who work in professions that require them to refrain from saying 90% of what they think.

They are not ok.

When you’re not sure if you’re hungover, dead, or just thirsty.

You wake up like “Shh...Why is the sun so loud?”...

...and you know it’s going to be one of those days when all you want to say is what’s on the bottom of this mug.

When you work with THAT GUY

There’s always that one coworker you just want to smack in the face with a brick.

Then you remember that prison bunkmates are worse than annoying coworkers.

Next time Ted walks by... smile and take a sip.