Two Brothers
It's in theaters now! Coming this summer: Two Brothers. In a van. And then a meteor hit. And they ran as fast as they could. From giant cat monsters. And then a giant tornado came. And that's when things got knocked into 12th gear. A Mexican armada shows up. With weapons made from To--tomatoes. And you better bet your bottom dollar that these Two Brothers know how to handle business. In: “Alien Invasion Tomato Monster Mexican Armada Brothers, Who are Just Regular Brothers, Running in a Van from an Asteroid and All Sorts of Things THE MOVIE!” Hold on, there's more! Old women are coming, and they're also in the movie, and they're gonna come, and cross attack these Two Brothers. But let's get back to the brothers because they're-- they have a strong bond. You don't want to know about it here, but I'll tell you one thing: The moon. It comes crashing into Earth. And what do you do then? It's Two Brothers and--th-they're. It's called Two brothers. Two brothers! It's just called Two Brothers.
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Jan Quadrant Vincent 16
“Calling all Jan-Michael Vincent's, calling all Jan-Michael Vincent's!” In a world, where there are eight Jan-Michael Vincent's and sixteen quadrants. There's only enough time for a Jan-Michael Vincent to make it to a quadrant. He can't be in two quadrants at once. “We need one Jan-Michael Vincent to quadrant C. Two Jan-Michael Vincent's to quadrant E.” Morty: Rick, who-who is Jan-Michael Vincent? Rick: Oh man, I'm trying to remember Morty. Jan-Michael Vincent's are used up. “I need a goddamn Jan-Michael Vincent!” Morty: Is it important that we know who Jan-Michael Vincent is in order to get this? Rick: Nope. “I refuse to sign the legislation that allows more than eight Jan-Michael Vincent's to a precinct.” This JAN-uary, It's time to Michael down your Vincent's. Jan Quadrant Vincent 16 Rick and Morty: Whoa! Rick: That's Jan-Michaels! Morty: Excuse me, nurse, can you take my temperature? Because I think I have Jan Quadrant Vincent fever over here. Rick: All right, Morty you've done it!
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Eyehole Man
Alien Man: Samantha, I need to know that you understand that I have a couple of eyeholes. (The Alien tears off some skin flaps and reveals some eyeholes) Samantha: I do, I do understand about your eyeholes! Here, look at my eyeholes! (She tears off her skin flap to reveal many more eyeholes) Alien Man: Oh, my goodness you have eight eyeholes! (Their eyeholes make contact and start to "kiss") Oh, I'm looking through your eyeholes! Samantha: Yes, look through my eyeholes! (Eyehole Man hovers above the home in a helicopter, then uses a rope to drop into the house) Eyehole Man: I'm the Eyehole Man! I'm the only one who’s allowed to have eyeholes! (He kicks the eyeholes out of the aliens' heads) Get up on outta here with my eyeholes! Eyeholes! Get them today! You gotta be careful Morty, if that guy catches you with a box of his eyeholes he comes bursting in through a window and just starts kicking the sh*t outta you. But it's worth the risk, they melt in your mouth Morty! They're delicious!
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Ants in My Eyes Johnson
“I'm Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson, here at Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson's Electronics. I mean, there's so many ants in my eyes! And there's so many TVs, microwaves, radios I think, I can't--- I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock, because I can't see anything. Our prices, I hope, aren't too low! Check out this refrigerator! Only 200! What about this microwave? Only 100! That's fair! I'm Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson! Everything's black, I can't see a thing! (Catches on fire) And also--- I can't feel anything either--- did I mention that? But that's not as catchy as having ants in your eyes. So that always goes, you know, off by the wayside. I can't feel. It's a very rare disease. All my--- All my nerves, they don't allow for the sensation of touch. So I never know what's going on. Am I standing? Sitting? I don't know!” I don’t know about you guys, but I need to check out Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson's Electronics. Did you see those deals?! All I know is Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson can’t see them!
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