Bearded gentlemen - Heed Well! I have news of a most excellent nature! Whether your beard is curly or straight, red, blonde, black, or brown, dry or oily, timid or wild—this Beard Oil will act as your tool, your potion, your miracle. You might wonder—How? Well, good sir, read on! Organic ingredients? Always and forever! Beard growth? With our Cedar tree oil imported exclusively from the Magic Forest of Elysium, rosemary extract exuded from the pores of Atlas, and other growth-inducing oils from places like The Viking’s Valhalla, you can bet it on hair of your chiny, chin, chin. Actually, in scientific clinical trials it’s been proven that Polished Gentleman Beard Oil makes it precisely 6.8 billion times faster to achieve the beard of your dreams. The only way to improve on it is improve your dreams, and per account it also helps with that. Softer, stronger, thicker, shinier, HEALTHIER beards? As a bearded gentleman you deserve a mane unlike any other, the most polished facial fur ever. A mane so fierce, so manly, so marvelous that it’s the envy of your friends, the pride of your parents, the magnet of lady friends, the solver of problems, the maker of laws, the arbiter of international disputes. Be a man who is also a lion. Be a fighter for love and a lover of the good fight. Be a gentleman… a Polished Gentleman.